I have some pretty amazing clients. And they downright humble me with their open hearts and willingness to show up for themselves every. single. week.
This past week, one of those clients sent me an email to share her frustration.
And as I thought about her words, I realized that YOU might be sharing her same frustration.
Here's what to do when you don't like who you are or where you are right now...
You know those phases / chapters of your life where you feel SUPER frustrated?
Maybe it's those extra 20 lbs, maybe it's your crappy job, maybe it's the toxic on-and-off relationship you can't seem to fully leave?
Whatever "it" is, you know deep down that this isn't the life you envisioned for yourself. That you're not being the person you really want to be.
And it really pisses you off.
Maybe you've even taken a few steps forward but you're frustrated that you can't SEE any results. You want so badly to be at the end of your metamorphosis, to be the butterfly outside of its cocoon.
And when you take a few steps forward and realize you're still stuck inside, hat the changes aren't evident on the outside... it makes you want to give up.
"I'll never be a person who lives debt-free / has fulfilling job / leaves this terrible relationship so why even bother?" I'm done. It's never going to get better.
How do you stop feeling so frustrated and actually make the change you want?
"No one can go back and make a new beginning,
but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
Start being the person you DO want to be. Right now.
Simple, but not so easy - right? I get that, but here's the thing...
Change starts from within and is always available to us.
The coolest thing about our lives is that we are constantly choosing them, whether we realize it or not.
We don't necessarily choose the circumstances, but we do choose the way we respond to those circumstances.
And those choices we make have the power to influence our circumstances.
When I started saving for my career break, I was a person who didn't manage her money well. I wasn't terrible at it, but I didn't have ANY savings even though I was making $95,000 a year. I know, right?
But one day I knew I wanted something better, something different. I wanted to change my life and take a career break.
So I decided I was going to become a person who DID manage her money well.
Because that person could afford to take risks and do the things her heart wanted her to do. Like take a 1+ year career break.
And I kept choosing to be that person every day. I started tracking where my money went, I started being more selective about the things I spent money on and I started making choices that would help me fund my break.
In the beginning, I didn't magically find $20,000 in my savings account. In fact, on the outside, I was still the same girl making $95k/year with only $1,500 in her savings account.
But guess what?
On the inside, I was different. I was making different choices every single day and believing different things about myself.
And eventually... the external results appeared from that internal change.
And 18 months later I had $40,000 in my bank account.
Wish you were healthier?
Wish you were a person who travels abroad?
Wish you were someone who had a better, more fulfilling job?
Wish you were better at saving money and could finally manage to be debt-free?
You CAN be that person. And here's how to do it:
1. Choose to be that person.
This means deciding, right now, that from today on you are a person who takes care of their health. You are a person that travels abroad. You are a person with a fulfilling job.
2. Don't beat yourself up over past decisions.
No beating yourself up about things you can't change. Did you make bad choices in the past that led you to where you are now? Forgive yourself and let it go. No amount of bad feelings will change your past - in fact that negative loop you keep playing is holding you back. Cut the cord and move forward.
3. Keep choosing to be that person every day.
You have to keep making choices that are based on who you really want to be. And being her/him means that every time you make a decision, you make the decision that the person you want to be would make.
4. Focus on the internal shift and the external results will come.
If you want to be a person who takes better care of her health, focus on making healthier choices each day. Don't focus on when those results will manifest externally... When you'll lose those 20 lbs or fit into your old jeans.
If you want to travel abroad, don't focus your energy on taking your first trip. There's work to be done and focusing on the external result will just leave you feeling frustrated 99% of the time until you finally make it happen (assuming that you don't get so completely frustrated that you just quit trying altogether).
Instead focus on making choices that someone who travels abroad would make: start saving more money, do some online research, buy new luggage, etc. One day, before you know it, that big trip will come.
The results you want will absolutely come if you start making choices that a person who __s would make.
You don't have to wait for someone else to give you permission.
You don't need to wait for the external results to suddenly make it true.
You can decide to BE that person right now.
You'll be that person on the inside and soon feel a change. And that change will eventually work its way to the outside for the whole world to see.
You will eventually emerge as a beautiful butterfly from that cocoon.
So I'll tell you the same thing I told my wonderful client (who shows up for herself every single day, who invested in hiring a coach to help her and who is already being the person she really wants to be)...
Be kind to yourself.
You don't have to search for examples in the PAST to confirm that you are who you want to be. If you decide to be her, you get to be her. That's it.
The outside will catch up with the inside. And the results (and your life!) will reflect the internal choices you are making right now, every single day.
If you want help on your unconventional journey to create a happier life and become the person you want and were meant to be - I can help!
Click here to schedule a 30-minute discovery call.